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The Burning of a Wish in Winter - Episode 8
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The matchstick flame flickered as it showed a vision of Beluga’s wish, for her eyes only. The flame’s shadows danced sorrowfully within her snowflake eyes.
But the flame didn’t last for even a moment. Perhaps her matchsticks had gotten damp in the blizzard.
The flame died out without a sound.
Beluga allowed the extinguished match to fall to her feet. Then, as if she were puppeteered by an unseen force, she took out a second match and struck it.
[ Strike… strike… strike… ]
She lit another match.
Then another.
When that flame died, she lit yet another.
Like she was trying to drown herself in those flames.
Akira: Beluga…
Beluga: Why?
Beluga’s breathing grew uneven. It sounded like she was choking between her shallow and rapid breaths. Weakly at first, her face started to contort with her emotions.
Her cheeks, fair as snow, soon became tear-stained. Like the breaking of a dam, tears broke through and flooded down her cheeks.
Beluga: But why… Papa, Mama… (hic) Why……
Why couldn’t I be a good daughter for you…
Her hands trembled, and with it, the flame she held flickered and died out.
The darkened matchstick fell from Beluga’s grasp, laid to rest around Beluga’s feet amidst the rest of its charred kin — mere rubbish, no longer of use.
She struck a new match and lifted her head.
She must have been gazing upon a vision of her parents within the flames, but it was a vision that only she could see. There was no one there looking back at her.
Like how there was no Santa Claus travelling through the night skies on Christmas Eve to deliver all the gifts that the children had wished for.
Her wish for the impossible was exactly that — a wish that could never have been granted, no matter what.
Beluga hiccupped and sobbed forlornly, and then she squeezed her eyes shut as if she was trying to force something out of her system.
Beluga: You… You two should leave. Heathcliff sama, Kenja sama, please leave me behind and go.
I’ll stay. I want to stay here, where the dreamwood trees are.
Heathcliff: How could I…
Beluga: It doesn’t matter if I stay here or not. I won’t become a good daughter anyway. Papa and Mama won’t come back for me either.
If that’s how things are, then I’ll stay. I’ll make more matches here. When the dreamwood matches are blazing bright, I’m a good daughter. My parents will be here with me too…
Akira: ………
I knew there were things I could say that could probably shake her out of her current state: ‘Please don’t say such things, Beluga. Let’s go home.’
But I couldn’t find it in me to say a word.
Because there was no wish-granting Santa Claus in reality.
And that meant that Beluga could not become the Good Daughter Beluga that she wished to become, even if she tried for as long as she lived.
I couldn’t bend reality to make that happen for her. Anything that I could say to bring her out of her current state would only be a small consolation to tide her over for the time being.
After all, Beluga’s wish for the impossible wasn’t something that could be casually resolved with the power of words.
Heathcliff: ………
Beluga.
Quietly, Heathcliff crouched down in front of her. He looked at her, eye to eye, at her level.
He let his thoughtful gaze settle upon her, and he allowed himself a moment to compose himself. Then he gently opened his mouth to say:
Heathcliff: … Did you know, when I was little, a frosty once tried to lure me in with gifts too? Just like it did to you.
Beluga: Huh……?
Heathcliff: It gave me frozen flowers… and I was happy to receive them, because it felt like the flowers were meant to comfort me. I had been feeling down, you see.
Beluga: I don’t… I don’t believe you. There’s no way.
Heathcliff sama, you’re kind. You’re good with your hands. You’re smart, too. Even as a little boy, you’d definitely have been a very good boy.
Heathcliff: Not at all. I wasn’t, not in the least.
… My parents are wonderful people. It was my fault that they became the subject of gossip, spoken ill of behind their back…
…… That feeling, when you really, really want to be a good child to your parents, but you’re just not able to become one… It hurts, doesn’t it?
The way Heathcliff cast his gaze downward reminded me of the way Beluga had looked like she’d gone through too much.
Like shouldering a burden so heavy it was near-unbearable, and all you could do was keep your eyes on the ground.
Beluga: … Well… Heathcliff sama, you too… So you felt that way too.
Heathcliff: Yeah… In the end, the frosty was gone for good, but I still think to myself sometimes:
‘Why can’t I become a good son? If only I were born a good son, I wouldn’t have given them so much trouble.’
But, that said…
Slowly, like how the sun was certain to rise, Heathcliff lifted his gaze.
It settled upon me. It was the same look that he had fleetingly given me right before the frosty had whisked us away to its abode.
And then, he smiled a little smile.
Heathcliff: Unlike before, these days, sometimes I find myself thinking that perhaps it’s a good thing after all, that I’m not a good son.
Beluga: Really…
Beluga’s round eyes blinked.
Her tears that had flowed endlessly stopped falling. The dancing flames that showed her visions of her impossible wish were gone without a trace.
Beluga: ………
Why… How can you say that…
[ Wall-banging sfx ]
Shino: HEATH!
I turned around to the source of the voice. It was Shino, standing on the other side of the snow globe, pounding his fists on the wall.
Behind him were all the other wizards. Oz had his magical tool – a staff – in his hand. Perhaps he had used his teleportation magic to bring them all here.
Shino: Heath, you alright?!
Heathcliff: Shino, everyone — I’m fine! I’m completely unharmed.
Lennox: Kenja sama and Beluga, what about you two?
Akira: I’m fine too! Heathcliff was looking out for us.
Shylock: I owe you three my sincerest apologies. We believed that no fey would dare approach while you wore Oz’s mark upon you. We let our guard down.
Akira: There’s no need to apologise! We couldn’t have known that the frosty would act so recklessly.
[ Oz CG ]
Akira: It was because Oz gave us these flowers that you all could find us so quickly. Thank you very much, Oz.
Oz: No. You all were nevertheless subjected to an unpleasant experience.
Rutile: Beluga, you must have been so scared. It’s gonna be al— Ahh!
Rutile had bent down to comfort Beluga, but Owen swooped in to shove him aside.
Owen: … Oh, so it really is true. Her eyes have a frosty’s snowflake in them.
……… Hey.
Beluga: Y-Yes?
Owen: Did you manage to become a good daughter?
Did you get to reunite with your Papa and Mama?
Beluga: …!
Lennox: Owen.
Lennox said Owen’s name, at a notch lower than his usual timbre.
But in spite of that, Owen’s smile only widened.
Owen: I’d be able to let you meet your Papa and Mama again, valiant little Beluga.
The snowflake that had surfaced within Beluga’s eyes grew larger, its tips touching the edge of her irises.
Beluga leaned forward, pressing herself against the wall of the snow globe.
Beluga: … Can you… do that?
Wizard san, can you really make me a good daughter? Does that sort of magic exist?
Owen: Of course not.
Owen’s cold declaration was like an icy dagger, made to stab cleanly — and ruthlessly.
His lips quirked upwards, and they curved into a beautiful smile. Yet, for some reason, it reminded me of skin pulled taut by a scar that may never heal over.
Owen: I’m talking about something more practical here. I’m going to break the protective spell over you.
Heathcliff: …!
Cain: Hey, you—
Owen: After that, you can go soak yourself in the poison of the dreamwood trees. In your dreams, you can watch yourself become the good daughter you’ve always wanted to be. You can even reunite with your parents again.
Oh, but in exchange, you’ll never be able to leave. You’ll remain trapped in your dreams, while your life slips away, and then you’ll die.
[ Owen smiles. ]
Owen: But isn’t that a fitting end? After all, your wish can never, ever be granted. That’s why it’s called an impossible wish, no? Because it’s impossible.
Come on, you can do it. Touch my hand through this ice. I’ll grant you your wish.
Beluga: … My… wish…
……
Beluga started to stretch her arm out towards Owen. But midway, she hesitated, and faltered.
Suddenly, she took out a match and struck it.
This time, she wore a different expression. It was an expression of contemplative thought as she looked up at the parents only she could see.
Beluga: ………
Beluga: … Heathcliff sama, what made you start to think that it’s fine not to be a good son?
… Did you give up on being a good son?
Heathcliff: No… you’ve got it all wrong. As long as I am who I am, my parents will continue to be the subject of gossip, and spoken ill of behind their back.
Shino: ………
Taking his time, Heathcliff turned to look around at us.
At Shino. Cain. Myself.
His blue eyes settled on each and every one of us present in turn, giving each of us a thorough look.
Heathcliff: If I were … a normal good son, then there’d be so many things that I couldn’t do, and people I would’ve never met.
I like all the people that I’ve met up until now, and I like where I am in life.
… The feeling of wanting to be a version of myself that won’t besmirch the good name of my parents will stay with me forever and ever though…
Well, let me put it this way. I may not be a good son to my parents, but maybe that’s not a bad thing after all. At least, it’s not bad all the time.
As soon as he finished his sentence, Heathcliff glanced down. He seemed slightly embarrassed by what he’d just said.
He stole another glance at me.
Heathcliff: … Saying it like that makes me sound pretentious, but it’s something that I didn’t notice until I had someone else point it out to me.
That’s how difficult it is to give up wishing for the impossible. It’s not easy, I know.
But someday…
[ No BGM ]
Heathcliff extended his hand to Beluga.
Clad in wintry white colours, Heathcliff almost resembled a frosty himself — but unlike a frosty, he was filled with warmth and kindness.
Heathcliff: Beluga, I hope that someday, you too will wake up to such a day, and it’ll be a wonderful thing.
Beluga: … I don’t know. Will that day come, really?
[ Event BGM ]
Heathcliff: It will.
Heathcliff was always kind and soft-spoken, but those words he said decisively. His golden hair sparkled far more vibrantly than the gleam of any idealistic vision.
Beluga looked like she was about to cry, but instead she burst into laughter. The matches she held in her hand plopped down to the ground, one after another.
[ Magic sfx ]
Despite her lingering hesitance, she quietly took Heathcliff’s hand.
Rutile: Oh… The snowflakes are gone from Beluga’s eyes…
Oz: The frosty’s presence in her is fading. The connection between her heart and the frosty has been broken, which should cause the frosty’s bond to dissipate.
Owen: … Hmph. Boring.
You’d think that Owen would be angry that he’d been thwarted, but unexpectedly, all he did was shrug.
Rutile smiled and did a fistpump with both hands. He addressed Beluga:
[ Rutile CG ]
Rutile: Alright! Now all we have to do is break them all out of the snow globe!
I’m certain Maia san’s waiting for your return too. Let’s get you home to her.
Oz: All of you, step back. I will shatter it with magic.
He had held onto his staff this whole time. Now, Oz finally stepped forth. As usual when he used his magic, he stood upright and gently raised his staff aloft.
It was a motion that I had gotten used to after seeing it many times, but Beluga jumped and did a little shiver where she stood.
Beluga: (nervous exhale) ……
next episode →
The matchstick flame flickered as it showed a vision of Beluga’s wish, for her eyes only. The flame’s shadows danced sorrowfully within her snowflake eyes.
But the flame didn’t last for even a moment. Perhaps her matchsticks had gotten damp in the blizzard.
The flame died out without a sound.
Beluga allowed the extinguished match to fall to her feet. Then, as if she were puppeteered by an unseen force, she took out a second match and struck it.
[ Strike… strike… strike… ]
She lit another match.
Then another.
When that flame died, she lit yet another.
Like she was trying to drown herself in those flames.
Akira: Beluga…
Beluga: Why?
Beluga’s breathing grew uneven. It sounded like she was choking between her shallow and rapid breaths. Weakly at first, her face started to contort with her emotions.
Her cheeks, fair as snow, soon became tear-stained. Like the breaking of a dam, tears broke through and flooded down her cheeks.
Beluga: But why… Papa, Mama… (hic) Why……
Why couldn’t I be a good daughter for you…
Her hands trembled, and with it, the flame she held flickered and died out.
The darkened matchstick fell from Beluga’s grasp, laid to rest around Beluga’s feet amidst the rest of its charred kin — mere rubbish, no longer of use.
She struck a new match and lifted her head.
She must have been gazing upon a vision of her parents within the flames, but it was a vision that only she could see. There was no one there looking back at her.
Like how there was no Santa Claus travelling through the night skies on Christmas Eve to deliver all the gifts that the children had wished for.
Her wish for the impossible was exactly that — a wish that could never have been granted, no matter what.
Beluga hiccupped and sobbed forlornly, and then she squeezed her eyes shut as if she was trying to force something out of her system.
Beluga: You… You two should leave. Heathcliff sama, Kenja sama, please leave me behind and go.
I’ll stay. I want to stay here, where the dreamwood trees are.
Heathcliff: How could I…
Beluga: It doesn’t matter if I stay here or not. I won’t become a good daughter anyway. Papa and Mama won’t come back for me either.
If that’s how things are, then I’ll stay. I’ll make more matches here. When the dreamwood matches are blazing bright, I’m a good daughter. My parents will be here with me too…
Akira: ………
I knew there were things I could say that could probably shake her out of her current state: ‘Please don’t say such things, Beluga. Let’s go home.’
But I couldn’t find it in me to say a word.
Because there was no wish-granting Santa Claus in reality.
And that meant that Beluga could not become the Good Daughter Beluga that she wished to become, even if she tried for as long as she lived.
I couldn’t bend reality to make that happen for her. Anything that I could say to bring her out of her current state would only be a small consolation to tide her over for the time being.
After all, Beluga’s wish for the impossible wasn’t something that could be casually resolved with the power of words.
Heathcliff: ………
Beluga.
Quietly, Heathcliff crouched down in front of her. He looked at her, eye to eye, at her level.
He let his thoughtful gaze settle upon her, and he allowed himself a moment to compose himself. Then he gently opened his mouth to say:
Heathcliff: … Did you know, when I was little, a frosty once tried to lure me in with gifts too? Just like it did to you.
Beluga: Huh……?
Heathcliff: It gave me frozen flowers… and I was happy to receive them, because it felt like the flowers were meant to comfort me. I had been feeling down, you see.
Beluga: I don’t… I don’t believe you. There’s no way.
Heathcliff sama, you’re kind. You’re good with your hands. You’re smart, too. Even as a little boy, you’d definitely have been a very good boy.
Heathcliff: Not at all. I wasn’t, not in the least.
… My parents are wonderful people. It was my fault that they became the subject of gossip, spoken ill of behind their back…
…… That feeling, when you really, really want to be a good child to your parents, but you’re just not able to become one… It hurts, doesn’t it?
The way Heathcliff cast his gaze downward reminded me of the way Beluga had looked like she’d gone through too much.
Like shouldering a burden so heavy it was near-unbearable, and all you could do was keep your eyes on the ground.
Beluga: … Well… Heathcliff sama, you too… So you felt that way too.
Heathcliff: Yeah… In the end, the frosty was gone for good, but I still think to myself sometimes:
‘Why can’t I become a good son? If only I were born a good son, I wouldn’t have given them so much trouble.’
But, that said…
Slowly, like how the sun was certain to rise, Heathcliff lifted his gaze.
It settled upon me. It was the same look that he had fleetingly given me right before the frosty had whisked us away to its abode.
And then, he smiled a little smile.
Heathcliff: Unlike before, these days, sometimes I find myself thinking that perhaps it’s a good thing after all, that I’m not a good son.
Beluga: Really…
Beluga’s round eyes blinked.
Her tears that had flowed endlessly stopped falling. The dancing flames that showed her visions of her impossible wish were gone without a trace.
Beluga: ………
Why… How can you say that…
[ Wall-banging sfx ]
Shino: HEATH!
I turned around to the source of the voice. It was Shino, standing on the other side of the snow globe, pounding his fists on the wall.
Behind him were all the other wizards. Oz had his magical tool – a staff – in his hand. Perhaps he had used his teleportation magic to bring them all here.
Shino: Heath, you alright?!
Heathcliff: Shino, everyone — I’m fine! I’m completely unharmed.
Lennox: Kenja sama and Beluga, what about you two?
Akira: I’m fine too! Heathcliff was looking out for us.
Shylock: I owe you three my sincerest apologies. We believed that no fey would dare approach while you wore Oz’s mark upon you. We let our guard down.
Akira: There’s no need to apologise! We couldn’t have known that the frosty would act so recklessly.
[ Oz CG ]
Akira: It was because Oz gave us these flowers that you all could find us so quickly. Thank you very much, Oz.
Oz: No. You all were nevertheless subjected to an unpleasant experience.
Rutile: Beluga, you must have been so scared. It’s gonna be al— Ahh!
Rutile had bent down to comfort Beluga, but Owen swooped in to shove him aside.
Owen: … Oh, so it really is true. Her eyes have a frosty’s snowflake in them.
……… Hey.
Beluga: Y-Yes?
Owen: Did you manage to become a good daughter?
Did you get to reunite with your Papa and Mama?
Beluga: …!
Lennox: Owen.
Lennox said Owen’s name, at a notch lower than his usual timbre.
But in spite of that, Owen’s smile only widened.
Owen: I’d be able to let you meet your Papa and Mama again, valiant little Beluga.
The snowflake that had surfaced within Beluga’s eyes grew larger, its tips touching the edge of her irises.
Beluga leaned forward, pressing herself against the wall of the snow globe.
Beluga: … Can you… do that?
Wizard san, can you really make me a good daughter? Does that sort of magic exist?
Owen: Of course not.
Owen’s cold declaration was like an icy dagger, made to stab cleanly — and ruthlessly.
His lips quirked upwards, and they curved into a beautiful smile. Yet, for some reason, it reminded me of skin pulled taut by a scar that may never heal over.
Owen: I’m talking about something more practical here. I’m going to break the protective spell over you.
Heathcliff: …!
Cain: Hey, you—
Owen: After that, you can go soak yourself in the poison of the dreamwood trees. In your dreams, you can watch yourself become the good daughter you’ve always wanted to be. You can even reunite with your parents again.
Oh, but in exchange, you’ll never be able to leave. You’ll remain trapped in your dreams, while your life slips away, and then you’ll die.
[ Owen smiles. ]
Owen: But isn’t that a fitting end? After all, your wish can never, ever be granted. That’s why it’s called an impossible wish, no? Because it’s impossible.
Come on, you can do it. Touch my hand through this ice. I’ll grant you your wish.
Beluga: … My… wish…
……
Beluga started to stretch her arm out towards Owen. But midway, she hesitated, and faltered.
Suddenly, she took out a match and struck it.
This time, she wore a different expression. It was an expression of contemplative thought as she looked up at the parents only she could see.
Beluga: ………
Beluga: … Heathcliff sama, what made you start to think that it’s fine not to be a good son?
… Did you give up on being a good son?
Heathcliff: No… you’ve got it all wrong. As long as I am who I am, my parents will continue to be the subject of gossip, and spoken ill of behind their back.
Shino: ………
Taking his time, Heathcliff turned to look around at us.
At Shino. Cain. Myself.
His blue eyes settled on each and every one of us present in turn, giving each of us a thorough look.
Heathcliff: If I were … a normal good son, then there’d be so many things that I couldn’t do, and people I would’ve never met.
I like all the people that I’ve met up until now, and I like where I am in life.
… The feeling of wanting to be a version of myself that won’t besmirch the good name of my parents will stay with me forever and ever though…
Well, let me put it this way. I may not be a good son to my parents, but maybe that’s not a bad thing after all. At least, it’s not bad all the time.
As soon as he finished his sentence, Heathcliff glanced down. He seemed slightly embarrassed by what he’d just said.
He stole another glance at me.
Heathcliff: … Saying it like that makes me sound pretentious, but it’s something that I didn’t notice until I had someone else point it out to me.
That’s how difficult it is to give up wishing for the impossible. It’s not easy, I know.
But someday…
[ No BGM ]
Heathcliff extended his hand to Beluga.
Clad in wintry white colours, Heathcliff almost resembled a frosty himself — but unlike a frosty, he was filled with warmth and kindness.
Heathcliff: Beluga, I hope that someday, you too will wake up to such a day, and it’ll be a wonderful thing.
Beluga: … I don’t know. Will that day come, really?
[ Event BGM ]
Heathcliff: It will.
Heathcliff was always kind and soft-spoken, but those words he said decisively. His golden hair sparkled far more vibrantly than the gleam of any idealistic vision.
Beluga looked like she was about to cry, but instead she burst into laughter. The matches she held in her hand plopped down to the ground, one after another.
[ Magic sfx ]
Despite her lingering hesitance, she quietly took Heathcliff’s hand.
Rutile: Oh… The snowflakes are gone from Beluga’s eyes…
Oz: The frosty’s presence in her is fading. The connection between her heart and the frosty has been broken, which should cause the frosty’s bond to dissipate.
Owen: … Hmph. Boring.
You’d think that Owen would be angry that he’d been thwarted, but unexpectedly, all he did was shrug.
Rutile smiled and did a fistpump with both hands. He addressed Beluga:
[ Rutile CG ]
Rutile: Alright! Now all we have to do is break them all out of the snow globe!
I’m certain Maia san’s waiting for your return too. Let’s get you home to her.
Oz: All of you, step back. I will shatter it with magic.
He had held onto his staff this whole time. Now, Oz finally stepped forth. As usual when he used his magic, he stood upright and gently raised his staff aloft.
It was a motion that I had gotten used to after seeing it many times, but Beluga jumped and did a little shiver where she stood.
Beluga: (nervous exhale) ……
next episode →